Some time off work!

Not in the mood for work.

Put on my earphones. 

Played 'mashrou3 leila' on soundcloud. 

Here I am, writing a post on my blog.

These days are really tough on me. 

I think this is one of the big turning points in my life. 

I don't know if I am going to make it through. 

I have started to question everything. 

Starting from God. 

Not in the sense I doubt His existence  

But I question the purposefulness of life. 

I am afraid I have come to think life is too nihilistic. 

Among the things that really bother me is my ruined career. 

In more than three and half years after graduation, I have accomplished nothing. 

Nothing. 

I thought I will be joining my current post so I can make a difference. 

But the result is catastrophic. 

Egypt, unlike the late Pope Shenouda used to say, is a 'dumb' that we live in and that lives in us. 

I think of immigration. 

But where to? 

And as what? 

The course I have just done turned out not to be my passion. 

My passion is elusive. 

I just cannot figure it out. 

I am afraid as well that I might be a true psycho; a schizophrenic or a psychotic. 

This would explain a lot. 

Now what to do?
I will curb my fears, disappointments and frustrations and get back to work. 

God, have mercy on us. Amen!